Greetings Instructors and fellow students.
I first of all want to express my deepest gratitude to Samael Aun Weor and everyone at Glorian, as these teachings have changed my life in the most beautiful and profound way through practical application.
There are two questions I would like to ask.
The first is when we fail sexual tests in the internal worlds and experience the loss of sexual energy physically, despite our greatest efforts to retain the energy physically in those critical instants, and this is something that the law of recurrence is continuing to bring up every 2-3 months, and we are sincerely working on ourselves consciously with the 3 factors to the best of our ability in between these failed tests, can these repeated failed tests strengthen the resolve of our soul (like tempered steel in the forge), if we are sincerely remorseful for the consequences of our lust and are reflecting and meditating to the best of our ability on these painful experiences? There is also the longing in the soul to achieve the beauty and purity of chastity and when contrasting these two opposites through reflective imagination and contemplation the tears of conscious remorse are pouring out from the depths of my heart. I understand that sexual karma cannot be forgiven and has to be paid through suffering, and in the meantime between these failed tests there is noticable progress. It is so painful to experience the consequences of the physical loss of the sexual energy on my consciousness, mind and body. It is difficult to control myself in certain areas such as eating and jumping from one thing to the next, my will and concentration is significantly weakened in the following days and the body has a great hunger like it is trying to restore the lost energy. Regardless, There is total devotion to my Innermost and Divine Mother no matter what must be suffered. The reaiity, truth, and blessings of these teachings have been consciously experienced, and thus there is profound devotion, reverence, and gratitude, whatever may come. To word the question in another way, are these also lessons for the soul from the Being as well as karma to be paid in these failed tests?
The second question is since our Innermost is omniscient and omnipresent, does he know whether we will fail or pass the tests or temptations, or does he wait to see how we respond and if we pass or fail? If it is the latter, I guess it is up to our Innermost and inner Lucifer to intelligently guide us and present us with the right situations and temptations at the right time. Obviously we need to do the work through the super efforts of the consciousness, and leave the results and honor to our Inner Mother/Father.
(For extra context I am a single person working with pranayama, mantras, ect. every day and night, and sometimes mid day when I'm able, to the best of my ability, which has gotten better through practice and experience over time. Also working with the factor of psychological death through self-remembering, self-observation, and meditating on the egos I'm observing daily to the best of my ability, which again has gotten better with practice and experience on the path. And as well working with the factor of sacrifice of course when the opportunities present themselves and the intuitive calling in the heart is there.)
Thank you again to everyone at Glorian for all the work you do to bring these teachings to this suffering humanity, they are so powerful when sincerely applied! Inverential Peace! 🙏