Hello!
I already asked some questions about sexual magic and how should it be practiced, tried some, thought I was making progress but eventually miserably failed.
I started with some pranayamas, that helped me a lot, even though it was confusing many times (the moving of energy from spinal to brain to the heart and the transformation wasn't clear) and simultaneously I started to practice sexual magic with my wife. And that was very hard. Because I paid attention to many things at the same time and I just ended up suppressing the energy (I felt desire during the act even though I was trying not to, and at times I had to prolong the period of sex cause I didn't want my wife to have a bad experience and didn't stop "way before the orgasm". And to make a story short after a month and a couple of days I failed. I felt lots of guilt but at the same time felt that there was no other way since I started to feel bad physically and mentally (it says in lectures that "suppression indeed results in problems etc).
So, please, is there a step by step sort of advices to sexual magic. Cause I understood that it's impossible to just start doing it right right away.
"For beginners only short periods of time recommended". I guess later on, when I feel no more desire I could lengthen the period of time. And I was told that "the main thing of the act is to eliminate the defects", and also "cultivate love, empty the mind, open the heart." But I was also told that I should practice mantras IAO and ssss during the act. I also should "pray to the Devine Mother to eliminate the defects" that I have.
And since at the beginning there is only short periods of time, it seems impossible to do all of this, or it seems that I should do only one thing (just read mantra and that's it) and the next time just pray, and the next time just feel the emptiness of the mind and the heart. Do you feel what I m saying?
Sorry for such intimate questions but it s an intimate issue.. I dont know how else to ask.
Moreover, when I tried read mantras before, my wife told me that "she feels that "I'm by my own in the act") and no longer have eye contact with her and stuff and she feels weird now with me. ..
Please help me with some advice. Maybe I should start with only pranayama for 1-2 months. And try sexual magic later?
I already asked some questions about transmutation and tried to apply what I was told. I started with pranayama exercise and simultaneously sexual magic with my wife. Pranayama exercise helped me at the beginning even though there were times when I wasn't sure I was doing it in the right way (didn't really feel the energy going from down to spine to the brain to the heart. Sometimes I really did). But the sexual magic was very hard from the beginning since I felt some desire during it even though I tried to avoid it. Long story short, after a month and few weeks I failed. Because it was more of an abstention than transmutation. I felt bad after some time emotionally and physically.
And the information I gathered was too broad. On such a short period of time (since only short moments are recommended for beginners) I couldn't "pray to Devine Mother to eliminate my defects", "read a mantra IAO, Ssss ", " cultivate love, empty the mind and the heart".
So I understood that one thing at a time should be done? Only pray and that's it. And the next time only read mantra and that's it? Or should only pranayama be performed for a month and then slowly get into sexual act?
Please help.
I already asked some questions about sexual magic and how should it be practiced, tried some, thought I was making progress but eventually miserably failed.
I started with some pranayamas, that helped me a lot, even though it was confusing many times (the moving of energy from spinal to brain to the heart and the transformation wasn't clear) and simultaneously I started to practice sexual magic with my wife. And that was very hard. Because I paid attention to many things at the same time and I just ended up suppressing the energy (I felt desire during the act even though I was trying not to, and at times I had to prolong the period of sex cause I didn't want my wife to have a bad experience and didn't stop "way before the orgasm". And to make a story short after a month and a couple of days I failed. I felt lots of guilt but at the same time felt that there was no other way since I started to feel bad physically and mentally (it says in lectures that "suppression indeed results in problems etc).
So, please, is there a step by step sort of advices to sexual magic. Cause I understood that it's impossible to just start doing it right right away.
"For beginners only short periods of time recommended". I guess later on, when I feel no more desire I could lengthen the period of time. And I was told that "the main thing of the act is to eliminate the defects", and also "cultivate love, empty the mind, open the heart." But I was also told that I should practice mantras IAO and ssss during the act. I also should "pray to the Devine Mother to eliminate the defects" that I have.
And since at the beginning there is only short periods of time, it seems impossible to do all of this, or it seems that I should do only one thing (just read mantra and that's it) and the next time just pray, and the next time just feel the emptiness of the mind and the heart. Do you feel what I m saying?
Sorry for such intimate questions but it s an intimate issue.. I dont know how else to ask.
Moreover, when I tried read mantras before, my wife told me that "she feels that "I'm by my own in the act") and no longer have eye contact with her and stuff and she feels weird now with me. ..
Please help me with some advice. Maybe I should start with only pranayama for 1-2 months. And try sexual magic later?
I already asked some questions about transmutation and tried to apply what I was told. I started with pranayama exercise and simultaneously sexual magic with my wife. Pranayama exercise helped me at the beginning even though there were times when I wasn't sure I was doing it in the right way (didn't really feel the energy going from down to spine to the brain to the heart. Sometimes I really did). But the sexual magic was very hard from the beginning since I felt some desire during it even though I tried to avoid it. Long story short, after a month and few weeks I failed. Because it was more of an abstention than transmutation. I felt bad after some time emotionally and physically.
And the information I gathered was too broad. On such a short period of time (since only short moments are recommended for beginners) I couldn't "pray to Devine Mother to eliminate my defects", "read a mantra IAO, Ssss ", " cultivate love, empty the mind and the heart".
So I understood that one thing at a time should be done? Only pray and that's it. And the next time only read mantra and that's it? Or should only pranayama be performed for a month and then slowly get into sexual act?
Please help.