I love my anger. I do not
embrace it, but when I lose my temper I feel great and do not understand what is wrong with it.
However, I visited a homeless shelter today, and it changed me in just the 15 minutes that I was there. This is sort of an extension of the below cited post "I do not feel remorse") My anger has been coming out a lot more recently due to stress
, my emotional center becoming more sensitive upon getting off of unnecessary medications, discussing anger in an IOP counseling group, and developing a relationship with Samael.
Samael is the force of Love, whose opposite is Andrameleck and the force of anger. Samael writes in Light from Darkness
Amongst the most remarkable Hasnamussen, we have the case of Andrameleck. There is Andrameleck the white magician, and Andrameleck the terrible and frightful black magician. Although they are quite distinct and different, they constitute one individual. It is clear that the tenebrous Andrameleck will have to devolve within the submerged mineral kingdom until becoming dust. Only in that manner can the Essence, the Buddhata, the soul, be liberated in order to return to the white Andrameleck, the secret master.
Is there a way to positively channel the forces of anger?
The first line of the Philokalia
There is among the passions an anger of the intellect, and this anger is in accordance with nature.
Yesterday, I just wanted the entire planet to burn
, truly. Also, I punched a wall out of anger last night. And this morning I furiously banged my fist against the steering wheel out of frustration that the wind-shield was unfixably blurry.
We "could say" that my anger is causing some felony charges to filed against me, but I consider these charges to be an absurdity. That might just be my criminal mind though.
Anger is a chronic problem that I have never really addressed other than embracing it, since about 3 years old.
What I find strange is that I am a very nice guy.
Regardless, I do not know what to do since I do not feel remorse after an explosion of anger, yet I sense that something bad could happen in the future if I do not work on this "defect."
Maybe an "Anger Management" group would be of some benefit. Of course, I should meditate on the issue, but I have rarely done so in the past so I don't see myself doing so in the future.
Any insights would be very much appreciated.