Wednesday, 15 December 2021
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This is not something that has happened recently, but it is something I am truly coming to terms with now:

1. I had fought very hard against lust in order to make spiritual progress
2. I had very powerful results: beautiful inner experiences, success, healing of ailments that plagued me
2. I let myself fall
3. I literally committed horrific acts of blasphemy and black magic while knowing it was wrong (partly because I knew it was wrong)
4. I now am attempting to return to the path

The above series of events happened over the course of a few months.

Now you can see my crimes are very serious. And especially wanting to approach my greatest Friend, that being God, after having violently attacked Him, after He helped me in the most serious way, you can see that wanting to return to the path feels like the breaking point of absurdity. But it is the only thing I really can do. As a result of all this, the pain of remorse is almost too much to bear. Obviously I had somehow managed to make my case incredibly worse than it already was. I frankly did not deserve forgiveness to begin with, then I have done the unspeakable.

I am doing the only thing I know how to do, which is seriously doing the three factors, meditation, prayer, penance… but I ask this because I have never heard anything on this website about a case so extreme.

In synthesis, what is the reality for the one who wants to return after having fallen like this, and I mean fallen very very hard into the depths, to the point of committing crimes against Divinity? I understand it took Samael Aun Weor’s Being many reincarnations to forgive his son after a fall. How can I even expect forgiveness for this in this lifetime, and be allowed back on to the path? I do not expect to be allowed anything at all, so recently after such a fall.

I would just like some perspective on a case like this.

Sincerely thank you, from the bottom of my soul, for everything you do. Inverential peace!
7 months ago
·
#26682
Accepted Answer
There is always forgiveness. But this comes about through transmutation, mystical death, paying karma, and balancing our debts through the third factor: sacrifice.

If you feel remorse, then there is hope for you. The lost cases are those who feel nothing.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

7 months ago
·
#26682
Accepted Answer
There is always forgiveness. But this comes about through transmutation, mystical death, paying karma, and balancing our debts through the third factor: sacrifice.

If you feel remorse, then there is hope for you. The lost cases are those who feel nothing.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

Hasan selected the reply #26682 as the answer for this post — 7 months ago
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