Monday, 01 November 2021
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Hello,

I had a somewhat traumatic event with a former co-worker today and am pretty rattled. After being treated worse than a stray dog at volunteer work, I feel angry at the person who disrespected me, at others so as to vent my frustration, and at myself for not being strong enough to handle and transform the situation either in the moments when it happened or this evening in meditation. I have tried.

I also feel disempowered. Maybe I am going to have to become more of a "man" (in the common sense of the word) to deal with negative people, but I want to stay my same old sweet self. I am starting to get more out in the world and am seeing how terrible it is. And I live in a relatively easy-going place, not somewhere like New York (no offence!).

I spoke with the man who disrespected me, and I feel that out of timidity, kindness, impotence, and unvirility I was too meek with him upon confronting him and lost the opportunity to put him in his place so as to prevent further spreading of his disrespect to others. Do we sometimes need to be "meaner" with people so as to balance mercy and justice?

It is like I am a child playing at being a superhero but am somewhat traumatized by simple daily life.

Hopefully this conveys my problem. Any advice would be appreciated!

Sincerely,
Adam

P.S. I do get some shadenfreude out of the fact that he is probably going to hell. Is that wrong?
8 months ago
·
#26415
Accepted Answer
The faults we find in others are really the ones we possess in abundance. Comprehending this produces compassion for our so-called “enemies,” who are really just gifts from divinity to help us change.

Meditate, comprehend, and eliminate anger and pride so that you can be humble with others.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

8 months ago
·
#26415
Accepted Answer
The faults we find in others are really the ones we possess in abundance. Comprehending this produces compassion for our so-called “enemies,” who are really just gifts from divinity to help us change.

Meditate, comprehend, and eliminate anger and pride so that you can be humble with others.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

Ides selected the reply #26415 as the answer for this post — 8 months ago
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