Tuesday, 26 October 2021
  1 Replies
  307 Visits
I believe most of my complex self-confidence issues stem from my childhood experiences, in fact I am 100% certain. Constant attacks, on just being my authentic self, which was different in a backward country of degenerates in Nigeria. This affected me a lot, it wasn't even from my parents just people in general, peers, teachers etc etc always attacking me for doing something but when someone else does it its okay. That last part has made me realise that its my karma, some kind of family karma because this thing happened to my mother as well we grew up very similarly BUT hers was even worse, thank GOD I had her to build my confidence.
But I just remember when I was younger man I had a lifestyle, I would do what I want, go to new places make new experiences, now Ive been scared to actually live or even go out and explore the way I want to, because subconsciously I am scared I would be criticised for not "doing the right thing" or being different. Its taken a lot fo self observation and rememberance of how I changed to make me come to this conclusion. You know, Its like I hide myself. Because when I didn't when I was younger, I was ridiculed..so much so that now when I have to show myself oh boy my heart beats fast and its like Im having. a breakdown. This is subconscious but not so subconscious that I cannot be conscious of it, so this gives me hope that it isn't too ingrained in my psyche and I can move forward from this. How would I go about now to comprehend m childhood experiences and how it affected my self-belief because I am sure this is where it stemmed from, not a past life but my current childhood. Would I be able to meditate of my self-belief issues without going back to my childhood experiences.


Why do people just pick on my mother and I, if we walk this way its a problem if we don't its another problem! This made me so self-conscious in a bad way, making me ask myself oh "if I do this I would be seen as cocky, or arrogant, this defeats authenticity and definitely kills our self belief, I have seen this in myself. I want to complain, but these studies have made me understand its most likely karmic, a difficult pill.
9 months ago
·
#26322
Accepted Answer
As Benedictus indicated in another post, you comprehend your ego by concentrating upon, visualizing, and remembering your past experiences. This is the purpose of retrospection meditation.

To comprehend your present life, you need to examine your past impressions, since much of our current behaviors stem from childhood traumas.

Regarding your mother, only you can determine the causes of suffering and your karma through meditation and dream yoga.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

9 months ago
·
#26322
Accepted Answer
As Benedictus indicated in another post, you comprehend your ego by concentrating upon, visualizing, and remembering your past experiences. This is the purpose of retrospection meditation.

To comprehend your present life, you need to examine your past impressions, since much of our current behaviors stem from childhood traumas.

Regarding your mother, only you can determine the causes of suffering and your karma through meditation and dream yoga.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

Kay selected the reply #26322 as the answer for this post — 9 months ago
There are no replies made for this post yet.

Testimonials

  • I am so very grateful for you all and what you have done in my life to help me realize myself and what path it’s actually wise to tread and stay on. Thank you I honestly cannot thank you enough.

    S.C.
  • I love your site and your knowledgeable instructors and just want to say thank you for all your hard work... You give out your information for free and ask for donations which to me, tells me that you are more than legitimate and your information is top notch.

    S.J.
  • You are a continued source of knowledge, and a continuous source for the personal development of my soul.

    C.H.
  • I cannot thank you enough for all that you are doing and providing to spread the opportunity of true Gnosis. I have greatly benefited from the information on the website...

    B.D.
  • Your lectures, books, practices, etc. have radically changed my life in a profound manner. Especially putting into daily practice the teachings from the lectures... Your efforts making the lectures and everyone involved who makes it possible are a true blessing to humanity and beyond.

    AMST
  • These books have helped me changed my whole reality,..... Tragic and beautiful that pendulum we swing,...

    F.L.
  • Your books, lectures and courses have made the last years of my life complete. When that final hour comes, I know I will land in the right place.

    T.M.
  • What you guys are doing is really wonderful. You have helped me understand in my spiritual practice. I am truly grateful that your works is changing lives. When the student is really ready, the teacher has finally arrive to guide. 

    R.