I believe most of my complex self-confidence issues stem from my childhood experiences, in fact I am 100% certain. Constant attacks, on just being my authentic self, which was different in a backward country of degenerates in Nigeria. This affected me a lot, it wasn't even from my parents just people in general, peers, teachers etc etc always attacking me for doing something but when someone else does it its okay. That last part has made me realise that its my karma, some kind of family karma because this thing happened to my mother as well we grew up very similarly BUT hers was even worse, thank GOD I had her to build my confidence.
But I just remember when I was younger man I had a lifestyle, I would do what I want, go to new places make new experiences, now Ive been scared to actually live or even go out and explore the way I want to, because subconsciously I am scared I would be criticised for not "doing the right thing" or being different. Its taken a lot fo self observation and rememberance of how I changed to make me come to this conclusion. You know, Its like I hide myself. Because when I didn't when I was younger, I was ridiculed..so much so that now when I have to show myself oh boy my heart beats fast and its like Im having. a breakdown. This is subconscious but not so subconscious that I cannot be conscious of it, so this gives me hope that it isn't too ingrained in my psyche and I can move forward from this. How would I go about now to comprehend m childhood experiences and how it affected my self-belief because I am sure this is where it stemmed from, not a past life but my current childhood. Would I be able to meditate of my self-belief issues without going back to my childhood experiences.
Why do people just pick on my mother and I, if we walk this way its a problem if we don't its another problem! This made me so self-conscious in a bad way, making me ask myself oh "if I do this I would be seen as cocky, or arrogant, this defeats authenticity and definitely kills our self belief, I have seen this in myself. I want to complain, but these studies have made me understand its most likely karmic, a difficult pill.
But I just remember when I was younger man I had a lifestyle, I would do what I want, go to new places make new experiences, now Ive been scared to actually live or even go out and explore the way I want to, because subconsciously I am scared I would be criticised for not "doing the right thing" or being different. Its taken a lot fo self observation and rememberance of how I changed to make me come to this conclusion. You know, Its like I hide myself. Because when I didn't when I was younger, I was ridiculed..so much so that now when I have to show myself oh boy my heart beats fast and its like Im having. a breakdown. This is subconscious but not so subconscious that I cannot be conscious of it, so this gives me hope that it isn't too ingrained in my psyche and I can move forward from this. How would I go about now to comprehend m childhood experiences and how it affected my self-belief because I am sure this is where it stemmed from, not a past life but my current childhood. Would I be able to meditate of my self-belief issues without going back to my childhood experiences.
Why do people just pick on my mother and I, if we walk this way its a problem if we don't its another problem! This made me so self-conscious in a bad way, making me ask myself oh "if I do this I would be seen as cocky, or arrogant, this defeats authenticity and definitely kills our self belief, I have seen this in myself. I want to complain, but these studies have made me understand its most likely karmic, a difficult pill.
Accepted Answer
As Benedictus indicated in another post, you comprehend your ego by concentrating upon, visualizing, and remembering your past experiences. This is the purpose of retrospection meditation.
To comprehend your present life, you need to examine your past impressions, since much of our current behaviors stem from childhood traumas.
Regarding your mother, only you can determine the causes of suffering and your karma through meditation and dream yoga.
To comprehend your present life, you need to examine your past impressions, since much of our current behaviors stem from childhood traumas.
Regarding your mother, only you can determine the causes of suffering and your karma through meditation and dream yoga.
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Accepted Answer
As Benedictus indicated in another post, you comprehend your ego by concentrating upon, visualizing, and remembering your past experiences. This is the purpose of retrospection meditation.
To comprehend your present life, you need to examine your past impressions, since much of our current behaviors stem from childhood traumas.
Regarding your mother, only you can determine the causes of suffering and your karma through meditation and dream yoga.
To comprehend your present life, you need to examine your past impressions, since much of our current behaviors stem from childhood traumas.
Regarding your mother, only you can determine the causes of suffering and your karma through meditation and dream yoga.
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
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