Sunday, 09 December 2012
2 Replies
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Hi. I've been practicing gnosis for several years now. I thought I was doing reasonably well in my practices overcoming urges for drink, drugs, fornication and all the rest of it. I've been very poor over the past 10 years or so, so because of financial restraints was never able to indugle in drink and drugs to heavy. Maybe once a week i'd go on a 2 day binge (where you drink yourself into obilvion). But for the rest of the week I use to meditate alot and have experiences where masters/teachers would visit me astraly and give me guidance.
Back in February I had some good fortune (or so I thought) and a decent sum of money came my way (about £2500). With money in my pocket I quickly descended back into my bad habits. Was going out getting drunk everyday, snorting coke, even smoked crack a few times. This lasted about 5 months. Almost every night while this happened I was awakening at night in the qlippoth. Very, very unpleasent experiences being attacked by demons/black lodge. I use to call for help from God, the prophets and no one answered. One thing that happened is one night I saw a women (i think my divine mother) behead two demons and since that day my urges to drink alcohol have diminished greatly but not totally. Around that time I brought 2 grams of coke and after a few lines felt it was harming that much I threw it down the toilet. I'm 36, started taking drugs when I was 14/15 and never done that before in my life, especialy not with coke as it's expensive and was quite good stuff I had.
I came out of my dark patch about august and since then got back to practicing meditation everyday still drink occasionaly but not to much. In fact since my prolonged descension into the qlippoth it kind of put me off drinking and drugs as I saw the dark side to it all. Thing is now I recieve almost no visitis astraly from my former gnostic instructors. So have I been kicked out/failed my initiations?
Back in February I had some good fortune (or so I thought) and a decent sum of money came my way (about £2500). With money in my pocket I quickly descended back into my bad habits. Was going out getting drunk everyday, snorting coke, even smoked crack a few times. This lasted about 5 months. Almost every night while this happened I was awakening at night in the qlippoth. Very, very unpleasent experiences being attacked by demons/black lodge. I use to call for help from God, the prophets and no one answered. One thing that happened is one night I saw a women (i think my divine mother) behead two demons and since that day my urges to drink alcohol have diminished greatly but not totally. Around that time I brought 2 grams of coke and after a few lines felt it was harming that much I threw it down the toilet. I'm 36, started taking drugs when I was 14/15 and never done that before in my life, especialy not with coke as it's expensive and was quite good stuff I had.
I came out of my dark patch about august and since then got back to practicing meditation everyday still drink occasionaly but not to much. In fact since my prolonged descension into the qlippoth it kind of put me off drinking and drugs as I saw the dark side to it all. Thing is now I recieve almost no visitis astraly from my former gnostic instructors. So have I been kicked out/failed my initiations?
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Accepted Answer
Such behavior might have destroyed your spiritual development, but this is not to say that you will never reacquire your lost capabilities. For as it is written throughout the Gnostic literature:
Therefore, be joyful, patient and serene. There is always hope for every soul. There might be terrible Karma to pay, but God is always giving and merciful. Most of those who are in the Gnostic movement were so before, but betrayed their vows. Now they are working to regain their lost stellar inheritance from the Father. All is possible with the love of Christ in our hearts, so do not dismay.
All the doors are closed for the unworthy, except one: the door of repentance. -Samael Aun Weor, Beyond Death
Come, come, whoever you are.
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving — it doesn't matter,
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times,
Come, come again, come.
-Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi
Therefore, be joyful, patient and serene. There is always hope for every soul. There might be terrible Karma to pay, but God is always giving and merciful. Most of those who are in the Gnostic movement were so before, but betrayed their vows. Now they are working to regain their lost stellar inheritance from the Father. All is possible with the love of Christ in our hearts, so do not dismay.
Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.
Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.
"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"
Accepted Answer
Such behavior might have destroyed your spiritual development, but this is not to say that you will never reacquire your lost capabilities. For as it is written throughout the Gnostic literature:
Therefore, be joyful, patient and serene. There is always hope for every soul. There might be terrible Karma to pay, but God is always giving and merciful. Most of those who are in the Gnostic movement were so before, but betrayed their vows. Now they are working to regain their lost stellar inheritance from the Father. All is possible with the love of Christ in our hearts, so do not dismay.
All the doors are closed for the unworthy, except one: the door of repentance. -Samael Aun Weor, Beyond Death
Come, come, whoever you are.
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving — it doesn't matter,
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times,
Come, come again, come.
-Jalal al-Din Muhammad Rumi
Therefore, be joyful, patient and serene. There is always hope for every soul. There might be terrible Karma to pay, but God is always giving and merciful. Most of those who are in the Gnostic movement were so before, but betrayed their vows. Now they are working to regain their lost stellar inheritance from the Father. All is possible with the love of Christ in our hearts, so do not dismay.
Joyful in hope, suffering in tribulation, be thou constant in thy prayer.
Benedictis, qui venit in nomine Domini. Osanna in excelsis.
"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!"
Thanks for the response Benedictus
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