Hello,
The Abracadabra mantra video is very helpful. I vocalize or mentally chant with the video for15 min. at the very least every day. Sometimes I am able to do more. As an instructor said on a post, "Forty minutes is good. One hour of vocalization is a tentative period." I have very strong sexual appetites and a lot of lustful karma that warrant 49 repetitions of the mantra.
I have a lot of consternation and feelings that I am going to fall if I do not judiciously work with the mantra by increasing the time that I work with the mantra, especially during the calming sign of Cancer.
I do not sense that I am necessarily going to fall anytime soon, but these 7 or so months are the longest that I have remained in chastity (which I personally attribute to the
Distance Learning Course ), and there is a very strong sense of impending doom and tragedy regarding my sexual energy, as if I am going to be tested and fail.
I get sick of the mantra if I go beyond 21 or even just 7 repetitions. As with almost every other practice, there needs to be temperance, balance, and relations. Do you have any advice on how to deal with my inability to distinguish whether it is my ego or my conscience that is pushing me toward working with this very sacred mantra more seriously?
Do you have any ideas on how to deepen this practice ergo possibly lengthening the time that I can work with the vocalization?
Maybe there are some supplementary or alternative practices that would help establish control over my sexual appetite? I am daily working with Shaddai and the Vajroli Mudra, meditating on lust and the suffering that it creates, and various other pranayamas. Maybe I need to evolve my perception of what the sexual energy is...
I don't know. This has been a heavy weighing issue for awhile, especially the past 2 weeks.
By the way, I am aware of the great advice about closing our eyes that is mentioned in the response to the Abracadabra testimonial.
Until we can talk about, I am going to do some research on Glorian.org regarding the mantra Abracadabra.
Thank you very much for listening and your work!
Sincerely,
Adam