I came to a realization that I have not truly been practicing Gnosis because I have not truly meditated. I stopped even trying for a while. I have no idea how to meditate. I haven't the first clue. Merely performing pranayama,working on alchemy, and cleansing my environment doesn't make someone a Gnostic as I heard in one of your lecture audios. I listened to part of the lecture after falling into the lust Ive been fighting for over a year now. I did the unthinkable in terms of the path and fell back into masturbating. It's been a constant down hill battle at fighting against it from there. I clean up the environment as best I can; but, as long as my mind isn't right and I'm not in touch with my inner self; I realize that any effort is completely useless.
I have no idea how to meditate. I've never truly meditated before. I thought I was maybe; but, I wasn't. There are things that confuse me about it. For example- the need to have a quiet, focused mind, focusing on your inner self; yet, how can you do that when mediating on a certain subject? When you meditate on a certain subject; then,. aren't you thinking about that subject instead of quieting your mind? I'm new to all of this; at least, in this lifetime, and I have no idea how to meditate. I read in the Yellow Book about needing to be in the sleepy state. I've tried that and; I fall completely asleep and experience nothing. The Yellow book doesn't explain in detail on how somebody who has never meditated before in their curent lifetime anyway; can learn to meditate. It merely tells you to be in the sleep state, etc. I've heard that people who truly meditate reach another state of consciousness and have experiences. That has never happened to me. Is there any sort of course or lesson on basic meditation techniques? The materials I've found haven't explained much of what I'm needing to know here. If they have then, I haven't understood it very well. I need to meditate as we all do. Every time I've tried; it hasn't really been meditation as much as it's been my noisy mind, lack of focus, etc. Either that; or, as I said before, I merely fall asleep. I need to explain further. I was reared as a protestant Christian in the southern United States. I'm not being critical as much as observational here. But; as I have seen it, southern, protestant, Christians are just about the least spiritually aware/ active people of all of the World's religions I've seen. Not only do they not teach mediation; but, some of them are puritanical and believe meditation is evil and of the devil. All they do is go to a Church building once or twice a week, sing, bow their heads and hold a conversation into the air, pass judgment on everybody they don't like, and leave. If the word mediation is used anywhere like " time for prayer and mediation" being used in a bulletin on the order of the service...their idea of mediation is sitting and thinking or bowing your head and thinking the conversation "that they call a prayer" in their head instead of saying it aloud. The ones who don't condemn the use of the word meditation have no idea what it is. They merely apply the word to bowing your head and thinking a conversation up in your mind. I didn't grow up around any of the religions who meditate; so, I haven't been taught any sort of meditation method whatsoever. I'm sure their must be others starting the path with this dilemma. What I need is a beginners course in how to meditate- period. Then; I can work from there. Is there anything that would help me to learn? I'll get nowhere unless I learn to meditate. What do I do?
I have no idea how to meditate. I've never truly meditated before. I thought I was maybe; but, I wasn't. There are things that confuse me about it. For example- the need to have a quiet, focused mind, focusing on your inner self; yet, how can you do that when mediating on a certain subject? When you meditate on a certain subject; then,. aren't you thinking about that subject instead of quieting your mind? I'm new to all of this; at least, in this lifetime, and I have no idea how to meditate. I read in the Yellow Book about needing to be in the sleepy state. I've tried that and; I fall completely asleep and experience nothing. The Yellow book doesn't explain in detail on how somebody who has never meditated before in their curent lifetime anyway; can learn to meditate. It merely tells you to be in the sleep state, etc. I've heard that people who truly meditate reach another state of consciousness and have experiences. That has never happened to me. Is there any sort of course or lesson on basic meditation techniques? The materials I've found haven't explained much of what I'm needing to know here. If they have then, I haven't understood it very well. I need to meditate as we all do. Every time I've tried; it hasn't really been meditation as much as it's been my noisy mind, lack of focus, etc. Either that; or, as I said before, I merely fall asleep. I need to explain further. I was reared as a protestant Christian in the southern United States. I'm not being critical as much as observational here. But; as I have seen it, southern, protestant, Christians are just about the least spiritually aware/ active people of all of the World's religions I've seen. Not only do they not teach mediation; but, some of them are puritanical and believe meditation is evil and of the devil. All they do is go to a Church building once or twice a week, sing, bow their heads and hold a conversation into the air, pass judgment on everybody they don't like, and leave. If the word mediation is used anywhere like " time for prayer and mediation" being used in a bulletin on the order of the service...their idea of mediation is sitting and thinking or bowing your head and thinking the conversation "that they call a prayer" in their head instead of saying it aloud. The ones who don't condemn the use of the word meditation have no idea what it is. They merely apply the word to bowing your head and thinking a conversation up in your mind. I didn't grow up around any of the religions who meditate; so, I haven't been taught any sort of meditation method whatsoever. I'm sure their must be others starting the path with this dilemma. What I need is a beginners course in how to meditate- period. Then; I can work from there. Is there anything that would help me to learn? I'll get nowhere unless I learn to meditate. What do I do?