I have struggled to distance myself from the sexual degeneration and worship of our egos that seems to be running rampant in our current humanity. I have been developing to become a better man, true to my soul. Whenever I try to socialize with certain people, there are many who act in a certain way to attract attention from others and are clearly not being themselves. Many people wish to have sex, attain material wealth, and become a figure glorified in our media. I am repulsed and cannot be sociable, so I just remain quiet most of the time while they continue their conversations. But I feel I am just being proud myself and putting myself above them, hence the negative feelings that emerge from within. I feel as if each and every one of them has their inner child suffering in the grasp of their strong egos, so I try to be friendly. Then my "friendliness" simply becomes an act. It's frustrating, so I like spending more time alone. I don't want to be criticizing a humanity in which I am a part of. My ego works against me in a lot of situations where I want to be sociable.
With my close friends, I feel so free. I am relaxed just being myself. I want everyone to be a close friend of mine, but I don't want to act like they are a close friend of mine. If I mediate to annihilate my ego from moment to moment , will this occur naturally? Or will this never happen until everyone else starts working on themselves as well..
With my close friends, I feel so free. I am relaxed just being myself. I want everyone to be a close friend of mine, but I don't want to act like they are a close friend of mine. If I mediate to annihilate my ego from moment to moment , will this occur naturally? Or will this never happen until everyone else starts working on themselves as well..