Wednesday, 27 January 2021
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Hello everyone,
I wanted to have some guidance regarding recent "experience".
I was meditating recently and before going to sleep I plead my Being, my Divine Mother and the Masters of White Lodge for some help. I became sick and tired of my life, of all my egos messing everything up, etc. I also reached out to Samael Logos to help me become more "warrior" alike. To teach me to become one (I was always very "soft" since childhood, very delicate, gentle and etc. by nature).
I put my thumb and index fingers (extended those) while putting them on my sides (where rig cage is) while chanting mantra "Tai Re Re" for a few minutes. Something inside felt like I should do it like this. Maybe old memory of this technique from distant times. Then I chanted Belilin for an half an hour or more (did not record passage of time as it was irrelevent).
Then had my dinner, etc. Went to bed early. As usual failing to fall asleep on my back (I struggle for maybe couple of more years now) due to snoring/closing my throat when falling asleep this way.
---[*] Any suggestions regarding snoring would be great as I tried different pillows, towel under my neck, putting head to side, etc. Nothing works.
So I fell asleep in Lions Pose as usual. Which does not help me to astral project as I fall asleep this way due to medication I take. Only way I can not fall asleep quickly (being conscious at those moments) is on my back, which is impossible recent years.[*]--- This was answered in different topic
So anyway I "woke up" a bit during my sleep feeling "hot sphere" in the center of my back (solar plexus area) and a bit in front. I felt, I knew, some master was working on me. But.
Because I was barely conscious at that moment (my body still asleep, and mind was more or less asleep too) I felt like one of my egos of lust approached, tried to say something and that moment Master working on me withdrew.
I understand that performing such tasks (when Masters are performing) is fundamental that no ego intervenes and that when egos do intervene it is better to stop doing "those specific magical tasks" so not to fortify those egos or even worse, like converting one into a vampire or something of the sorts (I know it's not the way you become a vampire etc, I am just using it as a reference). Even tho I understand this I can't help but feel like I screwed up even though I was not trying to.
Would it be ok to continue my rites so to try to get help again, or would it be disrespectful towards Masters after my ego so masterfully screwed everything up?
Thanks!
I wanted to have some guidance regarding recent "experience".
I was meditating recently and before going to sleep I plead my Being, my Divine Mother and the Masters of White Lodge for some help. I became sick and tired of my life, of all my egos messing everything up, etc. I also reached out to Samael Logos to help me become more "warrior" alike. To teach me to become one (I was always very "soft" since childhood, very delicate, gentle and etc. by nature).
I put my thumb and index fingers (extended those) while putting them on my sides (where rig cage is) while chanting mantra "Tai Re Re" for a few minutes. Something inside felt like I should do it like this. Maybe old memory of this technique from distant times. Then I chanted Belilin for an half an hour or more (did not record passage of time as it was irrelevent).
Then had my dinner, etc. Went to bed early. As usual failing to fall asleep on my back (I struggle for maybe couple of more years now) due to snoring/closing my throat when falling asleep this way.
---[*] Any suggestions regarding snoring would be great as I tried different pillows, towel under my neck, putting head to side, etc. Nothing works.
So I fell asleep in Lions Pose as usual. Which does not help me to astral project as I fall asleep this way due to medication I take. Only way I can not fall asleep quickly (being conscious at those moments) is on my back, which is impossible recent years.[*]--- This was answered in different topic
So anyway I "woke up" a bit during my sleep feeling "hot sphere" in the center of my back (solar plexus area) and a bit in front. I felt, I knew, some master was working on me. But.
Because I was barely conscious at that moment (my body still asleep, and mind was more or less asleep too) I felt like one of my egos of lust approached, tried to say something and that moment Master working on me withdrew.
I understand that performing such tasks (when Masters are performing) is fundamental that no ego intervenes and that when egos do intervene it is better to stop doing "those specific magical tasks" so not to fortify those egos or even worse, like converting one into a vampire or something of the sorts (I know it's not the way you become a vampire etc, I am just using it as a reference). Even tho I understand this I can't help but feel like I screwed up even though I was not trying to.
Would it be ok to continue my rites so to try to get help again, or would it be disrespectful towards Masters after my ego so masterfully screwed everything up?
Thanks!
Accepted Answer
Masters do not withdraw from us because of the presence of our ego. They have tremendous compassion for our suffering and are willing to tolerate us for our errors, because this is the fundamental virtue of the Gnostic Church.
Inner experiences are interpreted based on the perfection of discrimination and conscious analysis in meditation.
If we stop practicing simply because an ego intervenes, then we will achieve nothing. Rather than submit to resistance, develop comprehension: the third force of divine intelligence that reconciles or resolves problems.
These exercises do not convert anyone into a demon, vampire, black magician, etc. Their absence, consistent lack of application, or mixture with impure methods does.
As for returning to your rites:
Inner experiences are interpreted based on the perfection of discrimination and conscious analysis in meditation.
If we stop practicing simply because an ego intervenes, then we will achieve nothing. Rather than submit to resistance, develop comprehension: the third force of divine intelligence that reconciles or resolves problems.
These exercises do not convert anyone into a demon, vampire, black magician, etc. Their absence, consistent lack of application, or mixture with impure methods does.
As for returning to your rites:
Learn things by heart, because they die of cold on the page.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.
Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.
Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Be notorious. Destroy your reputation.
When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you’re not here, I can’t go to sleep.
Praise God for those two insomnias!
And the difference between them.
My soul is from elsewhere, I’m sure of that, and I intend to end up there.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.
I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
Why do you stay in prison
When the door is so wide open?
We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.
Sit, be still, and listen,
because you’re drunk
and we’re at
the edge of the roof.
I have lived on the lip
of insanity, wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens.
I’ve been knocking from the inside.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.
Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah… it makes absolutely no difference what people think of you.
The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!
I didn’t come here of my own accord, and I can’t leave that way.
Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.
On a day when the wind is perfect,
the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty.
Today is such a day.
—Rumi
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Accepted Answer
Masters do not withdraw from us because of the presence of our ego. They have tremendous compassion for our suffering and are willing to tolerate us for our errors, because this is the fundamental virtue of the Gnostic Church.
Inner experiences are interpreted based on the perfection of discrimination and conscious analysis in meditation.
If we stop practicing simply because an ego intervenes, then we will achieve nothing. Rather than submit to resistance, develop comprehension: the third force of divine intelligence that reconciles or resolves problems.
These exercises do not convert anyone into a demon, vampire, black magician, etc. Their absence, consistent lack of application, or mixture with impure methods does.
As for returning to your rites:
Inner experiences are interpreted based on the perfection of discrimination and conscious analysis in meditation.
If we stop practicing simply because an ego intervenes, then we will achieve nothing. Rather than submit to resistance, develop comprehension: the third force of divine intelligence that reconciles or resolves problems.
These exercises do not convert anyone into a demon, vampire, black magician, etc. Their absence, consistent lack of application, or mixture with impure methods does.
As for returning to your rites:
Learn things by heart, because they die of cold on the page.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.
Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.
Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Be notorious. Destroy your reputation.
When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you’re not here, I can’t go to sleep.
Praise God for those two insomnias!
And the difference between them.
My soul is from elsewhere, I’m sure of that, and I intend to end up there.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.
I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
Why do you stay in prison
When the door is so wide open?
We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.
Sit, be still, and listen,
because you’re drunk
and we’re at
the edge of the roof.
I have lived on the lip
of insanity, wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens.
I’ve been knocking from the inside.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.
Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah… it makes absolutely no difference what people think of you.
The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You wander from room to room
Hunting for the diamond necklace
That is already around your neck!
I didn’t come here of my own accord, and I can’t leave that way.
Whoever brought me here will have to take me home.
On a day when the wind is perfect,
the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty.
Today is such a day.
—Rumi
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
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