Hello Instructors!
I hope someone has information/knowledge one could share regarding these questions:
1. I have heard that fallen bodhisattvas usually tend to get "spiritual" experiences afer their 30s, and so do their "powers" tend to manifest. Is it true?
2. Is there a possibility that fallen bodhisattva(s) may be destined to suffer current life, in which they try to follow correct path, but miserably fail even though their Being and themeselves put huge effort to combat egos and the Guardian of The Threshold? If they are destined for this life just to suffer should they just focus on living as best as they can "without" much "fight" against egos and The Guardian of The Threshold (which usually is able to take control and mess up life "just because"
?
3. If Innermost Being and his fallen Bodhisattva struggle a lot to win, to overcome, and yet fail how come Judges of Karma still do not let "to take a breath in" and put even more karma the moment "there is a faint beacon of hope"?
4. What could mean experience when one is judged (and also feel that pain after "verdict" to "Have them skinned alive/Have their fur removed" in astral plane before the Judges of Karma (this is very old experience of which I would like to see other persons perspective, maybe there is something positive, so there is nothing bad about me telling this now)?
Thank you!
I hope someone has information/knowledge one could share regarding these questions:
1. I have heard that fallen bodhisattvas usually tend to get "spiritual" experiences afer their 30s, and so do their "powers" tend to manifest. Is it true?
2. Is there a possibility that fallen bodhisattva(s) may be destined to suffer current life, in which they try to follow correct path, but miserably fail even though their Being and themeselves put huge effort to combat egos and the Guardian of The Threshold? If they are destined for this life just to suffer should they just focus on living as best as they can "without" much "fight" against egos and The Guardian of The Threshold (which usually is able to take control and mess up life "just because"
?3. If Innermost Being and his fallen Bodhisattva struggle a lot to win, to overcome, and yet fail how come Judges of Karma still do not let "to take a breath in" and put even more karma the moment "there is a faint beacon of hope"?
4. What could mean experience when one is judged (and also feel that pain after "verdict"
to "Have them skinned alive/Have their fur removed" in astral plane before the Judges of Karma (this is very old experience of which I would like to see other persons perspective, maybe there is something positive, so there is nothing bad about me telling this now)?Thank you!
Accepted Answer
Just because you are conscious and perceiving in the internal worlds does not guarantee it is objective. So, yes, question your experiences!
There is a Sufi saying that even if you walk in the gardens of paradise and the birds call to you, "As-salaam Alaikum!" (peace unto you), there is something wrong if you do not suspect what you see and hear.
Snoring can be caused by a number of things. For some, it can be a minor position, allergies, a cold, or your weight, which often contributes to sleep apnea. This is treatable through CPAP machines, which can provide more oxygen to your lungs and through your throat that is otherwise blocked when you sleep and produces snoring.
However, this is something only a sleep specialist can diagnose for you if you have sleep issues, not enough rest, tiredness due to lack of deep sleep, intermittent sleeping, etc.
Spiritual light is always followed by spiritual night. Do not be attached to experiences. They arrive as you successfully annihilate your egos of pain.
Your post does not indicate that you know how to die, especially when you continue to repeat and suffer from the same mistakes, anger, conflict, relationship problems, etc.
When you die to the ego, pain vanishes, karma is paid, and comprehension and virtue is born.
If we understood how to practice these four requisites to become a magician, we would not have problems.
Silence is not just physical. It is internal (see the lecture referenced below).
Abstention is not only directed towards physical means, but to our own appetites for suffering. Renounce them through joyful effort!
There is a Sufi saying that even if you walk in the gardens of paradise and the birds call to you, "As-salaam Alaikum!" (peace unto you), there is something wrong if you do not suspect what you see and hear.
Snoring can be caused by a number of things. For some, it can be a minor position, allergies, a cold, or your weight, which often contributes to sleep apnea. This is treatable through CPAP machines, which can provide more oxygen to your lungs and through your throat that is otherwise blocked when you sleep and produces snoring.
However, this is something only a sleep specialist can diagnose for you if you have sleep issues, not enough rest, tiredness due to lack of deep sleep, intermittent sleeping, etc.
Spiritual light is always followed by spiritual night. Do not be attached to experiences. They arrive as you successfully annihilate your egos of pain.
Your post does not indicate that you know how to die, especially when you continue to repeat and suffer from the same mistakes, anger, conflict, relationship problems, etc.
When you die to the ego, pain vanishes, karma is paid, and comprehension and virtue is born.
If we understood how to practice these four requisites to become a magician, we would not have problems.
Silence is not just physical. It is internal (see the lecture referenced below).
Abstention is not only directed towards physical means, but to our own appetites for suffering. Renounce them through joyful effort!
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Accepted Answer
Just because you are conscious and perceiving in the internal worlds does not guarantee it is objective. So, yes, question your experiences!
There is a Sufi saying that even if you walk in the gardens of paradise and the birds call to you, "As-salaam Alaikum!" (peace unto you), there is something wrong if you do not suspect what you see and hear.
Snoring can be caused by a number of things. For some, it can be a minor position, allergies, a cold, or your weight, which often contributes to sleep apnea. This is treatable through CPAP machines, which can provide more oxygen to your lungs and through your throat that is otherwise blocked when you sleep and produces snoring.
However, this is something only a sleep specialist can diagnose for you if you have sleep issues, not enough rest, tiredness due to lack of deep sleep, intermittent sleeping, etc.
Spiritual light is always followed by spiritual night. Do not be attached to experiences. They arrive as you successfully annihilate your egos of pain.
Your post does not indicate that you know how to die, especially when you continue to repeat and suffer from the same mistakes, anger, conflict, relationship problems, etc.
When you die to the ego, pain vanishes, karma is paid, and comprehension and virtue is born.
If we understood how to practice these four requisites to become a magician, we would not have problems.
Silence is not just physical. It is internal (see the lecture referenced below).
Abstention is not only directed towards physical means, but to our own appetites for suffering. Renounce them through joyful effort!
There is a Sufi saying that even if you walk in the gardens of paradise and the birds call to you, "As-salaam Alaikum!" (peace unto you), there is something wrong if you do not suspect what you see and hear.
Snoring can be caused by a number of things. For some, it can be a minor position, allergies, a cold, or your weight, which often contributes to sleep apnea. This is treatable through CPAP machines, which can provide more oxygen to your lungs and through your throat that is otherwise blocked when you sleep and produces snoring.
However, this is something only a sleep specialist can diagnose for you if you have sleep issues, not enough rest, tiredness due to lack of deep sleep, intermittent sleeping, etc.
Spiritual light is always followed by spiritual night. Do not be attached to experiences. They arrive as you successfully annihilate your egos of pain.
Your post does not indicate that you know how to die, especially when you continue to repeat and suffer from the same mistakes, anger, conflict, relationship problems, etc.
When you die to the ego, pain vanishes, karma is paid, and comprehension and virtue is born.
If we understood how to practice these four requisites to become a magician, we would not have problems.
Silence is not just physical. It is internal (see the lecture referenced below).
Abstention is not only directed towards physical means, but to our own appetites for suffering. Renounce them through joyful effort!
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
Thank you for your answer!
I try not to pretend to being a fallen master, etc (I would love not to be and I hope not to be and I really hope I am not).
I have verified some things and other things when I was able to astral project and was meditating a lot, when I was converting my pain of losing something (that I will not mention here) into work, awakening of consciousness etc.
My consciousness experienced awakening in a positive and in a negative way this lifetime. But there are some experiences I can't comprehend to this day. And my mind becomes damaged every day more and more.
There was also recent event, that I disscussed with you in private topic. During that painful thing I started to work more on myself (even though it feels like my Father is silent, absent). I still remember how I spent whole night in astral (the land of the dead) with my great-grandparent (who is deceased for ~7 years now). Talking with him (me being semi awake, knowing I my body is asleep in bed and I am here, with a person who is dead, but was like father to me). The morning was somewhat joyful, yet bleak.
By "Take your experiences with a lot of scrutiny. Do not assume anything." do you also mean even in the moments when consciousness is awake?
Also is there any possible way for me to sleep on my back without snoring? I tried countless things, countless possitions, also poses (like lion pose, or that Aztec/Mayan pose when your legs are folded, head lifted a bit; or towel/pillows under neck). Nothing mitigates this hindarance.
You say that who wanted to flay me alive were my egos. How so I was unable to see through that even with my consciousness awake at that time?
I became sad yesterday, very sad, out of thin air. I went to meditate. I did a lot of deep concentration. At some moments it even felt like I became myself (not ego, but the feeling you have when you concentrate a lot, you somewhat change for few moments and feel like Innermost is "moving you". But still I felt empty, devoid of my Being. Either he was busy or not interested in working on my return anymore. Meditation was one of the greatest I had in the last few years. And yet I felt no joy, only seriousness and emptyness. Also I avoided mirrors for couple of hours, during that after-state as I was in fear of watching myself into the eyes. Not because of shame or something like that, but because I feared that if I look into my eyes, during this strong hypnotic state, there is a danger that my guardian of the threshold will take a hold of me again and I am not ready to combat him yet.
Was I right doing this or was it just another foolish childish play my mind threw at me?
Even my old, deceased friend, who would visit me with his astral body (in a form of a little boy with golden hair) is not with me anymore. During meditation, astral projection and awakening of my consciousness I would see him in the astral plane, always smiling, always waiting for me, comforting, guiding... I know he was real because he once performed mystical work for my ex wife (to prove to me, as I was sceptical of his exsistence, that he is no illusion of my mind). I won't go into detail, but after that work my wife asked "Do you remember your dream when his (my astral friend's) cat did that and that) and I was astounded when she explained my own dream in detail. After that same or the other day I met him in astral during meditation with astral projection. My doubts where completely gone afterwards.
I often would feel his presence even in mundane life (physically, during the day). Now even he is not there.
I know it sounds all negative and grim. It probably is.
Funny enough recently I tried what you did:
"to know how to suffer
to know how to be silent
to know how to abstain
and to know how to die."
Well atleast the "to know how to be silent" and "to know how to die" part. Firstly "to know how to die". Some of my minor ego was destroyed. But later my other related egos came with a terrible force.
Then after meditation I tried (well not on purpose) "to know how to be silent". I came out of meditation. I was calm and very serious after that. I don't know why, but I also could not force myself to speak. I was unable to speak. I came into main room, where my recent girlfriend was sitting. Somehow she confused this with my anger. Soon after conflict started, and when I was able to speak I reacted badly.
But I do understand what you mean by those four actions.
Is there a conrete practical way to discriminate between Being and the guardian of the threshold? How to know if your intuition was not compromised by the guardian and not to foolishly follow his bidding? Some tricks he does are what you would call "realistic", that of the Being.
Thank you!
I try not to pretend to being a fallen master, etc (I would love not to be and I hope not to be and I really hope I am not).
I have verified some things and other things when I was able to astral project and was meditating a lot, when I was converting my pain of losing something (that I will not mention here) into work, awakening of consciousness etc.
My consciousness experienced awakening in a positive and in a negative way this lifetime. But there are some experiences I can't comprehend to this day. And my mind becomes damaged every day more and more.
There was also recent event, that I disscussed with you in private topic. During that painful thing I started to work more on myself (even though it feels like my Father is silent, absent). I still remember how I spent whole night in astral (the land of the dead) with my great-grandparent (who is deceased for ~7 years now). Talking with him (me being semi awake, knowing I my body is asleep in bed and I am here, with a person who is dead, but was like father to me). The morning was somewhat joyful, yet bleak.
By "Take your experiences with a lot of scrutiny. Do not assume anything." do you also mean even in the moments when consciousness is awake?
Also is there any possible way for me to sleep on my back without snoring? I tried countless things, countless possitions, also poses (like lion pose, or that Aztec/Mayan pose when your legs are folded, head lifted a bit; or towel/pillows under neck). Nothing mitigates this hindarance.
You say that who wanted to flay me alive were my egos. How so I was unable to see through that even with my consciousness awake at that time?
I became sad yesterday, very sad, out of thin air. I went to meditate. I did a lot of deep concentration. At some moments it even felt like I became myself (not ego, but the feeling you have when you concentrate a lot, you somewhat change for few moments and feel like Innermost is "moving you"
. But still I felt empty, devoid of my Being. Either he was busy or not interested in working on my return anymore. Meditation was one of the greatest I had in the last few years. And yet I felt no joy, only seriousness and emptyness. Also I avoided mirrors for couple of hours, during that after-state as I was in fear of watching myself into the eyes. Not because of shame or something like that, but because I feared that if I look into my eyes, during this strong hypnotic state, there is a danger that my guardian of the threshold will take a hold of me again and I am not ready to combat him yet.Was I right doing this or was it just another foolish childish play my mind threw at me?
Even my old, deceased friend, who would visit me with his astral body (in a form of a little boy with golden hair) is not with me anymore. During meditation, astral projection and awakening of my consciousness I would see him in the astral plane, always smiling, always waiting for me, comforting, guiding... I know he was real because he once performed mystical work for my ex wife (to prove to me, as I was sceptical of his exsistence, that he is no illusion of my mind). I won't go into detail, but after that work my wife asked "Do you remember your dream when his (my astral friend's) cat did that and that) and I was astounded when she explained my own dream in detail. After that same or the other day I met him in astral during meditation with astral projection. My doubts where completely gone afterwards.
I often would feel his presence even in mundane life (physically, during the day). Now even he is not there.
I know it sounds all negative and grim. It probably is.
Funny enough recently I tried what you did:
"to know how to suffer
to know how to be silent
to know how to abstain
and to know how to die."
Well atleast the "to know how to be silent" and "to know how to die" part. Firstly "to know how to die". Some of my minor ego was destroyed. But later my other related egos came with a terrible force.
Then after meditation I tried (well not on purpose) "to know how to be silent". I came out of meditation. I was calm and very serious after that. I don't know why, but I also could not force myself to speak. I was unable to speak. I came into main room, where my recent girlfriend was sitting. Somehow she confused this with my anger. Soon after conflict started, and when I was able to speak I reacted badly.
But I do understand what you mean by those four actions.
Is there a conrete practical way to discriminate between Being and the guardian of the threshold? How to know if your intuition was not compromised by the guardian and not to foolishly follow his bidding? Some tricks he does are what you would call "realistic", that of the Being.
Thank you!
We are sorry to hear you are suffering.
As for fallen bodhisattvas, do not assume you are one. Just because one suffers a lot doesn't make one a fallen bodhisattva, or that this is something that makes one special. Such a reality is only verified through numerous conscious investigations within the superior worlds over the course of many years, and which coincide with physical, concrete facts.
While writing to others and communicating with the spiritual community can help alleviate our pain and provide us with reconciliation and resolve, karma is medicine and should not be complained about. We receive the pressure of ordeals so that we can see what needs to be radically annihilated. Whenever I suffer problems, I meditate on the following requirements to become a magician:
We never receive more than we can handle. However, we must be accountable for our actions. With more knowledge comes more responsibility. Therefore, to act upon our desires during great adversities is to deepen our suffering and that of everyone around us.
Regarding your experiences, you need to evaluate them without prejudice, presuppositions, desires, fears, morbidities, concepts, ego, or pride. It is pride that says, "I am a fallen bodhisattva and therefore I suffer more than others!" It is ironic how many students assume they are someone special in a very perverse way. The ego of shame and suffering takes on many "spiritual" faces in order to survive.
If you want to succeed in this path, sacrifice your sufferings. You waste too much energy identifying with your negativity.
Misery and hardship is the anvil upon which the soul is forged. There is a reason why initiation is achieved by the few, because few are willing to renounce their attachments and identification with pain so as to achieve comprehension and joy.
The greatest joy of the Gnostic is the discovery of one of his or her defects. If this is not your motivation for Gnosis, then you are proceeding in a mistaken manner.
Sounds like the one who is flaying you alive and making you suffer is your egos. Take your experiences with a lot of scrutiny. Do not assume anything. Renounce your beliefs and meditate on what you perceive. This is the only way for the happiness of understanding and discrimination to really enter your heart.
As for fallen bodhisattvas, do not assume you are one. Just because one suffers a lot doesn't make one a fallen bodhisattva, or that this is something that makes one special. Such a reality is only verified through numerous conscious investigations within the superior worlds over the course of many years, and which coincide with physical, concrete facts.
While writing to others and communicating with the spiritual community can help alleviate our pain and provide us with reconciliation and resolve, karma is medicine and should not be complained about. We receive the pressure of ordeals so that we can see what needs to be radically annihilated. Whenever I suffer problems, I meditate on the following requirements to become a magician:
- to know how to suffer
- to know how to be silent
- to know how to abstain
- and to know how to die.
We never receive more than we can handle. However, we must be accountable for our actions. With more knowledge comes more responsibility. Therefore, to act upon our desires during great adversities is to deepen our suffering and that of everyone around us.
Regarding your experiences, you need to evaluate them without prejudice, presuppositions, desires, fears, morbidities, concepts, ego, or pride. It is pride that says, "I am a fallen bodhisattva and therefore I suffer more than others!" It is ironic how many students assume they are someone special in a very perverse way. The ego of shame and suffering takes on many "spiritual" faces in order to survive.
If you want to succeed in this path, sacrifice your sufferings. You waste too much energy identifying with your negativity.
Misery and hardship is the anvil upon which the soul is forged. There is a reason why initiation is achieved by the few, because few are willing to renounce their attachments and identification with pain so as to achieve comprehension and joy.
The greatest joy of the Gnostic is the discovery of one of his or her defects. If this is not your motivation for Gnosis, then you are proceeding in a mistaken manner.
Sounds like the one who is flaying you alive and making you suffer is your egos. Take your experiences with a lot of scrutiny. Do not assume anything. Renounce your beliefs and meditate on what you perceive. This is the only way for the happiness of understanding and discrimination to really enter your heart.
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
3. By "Judges of Karma still do not let "to take a breath in"" I meant imagine like one is drowning and tries to be afloat, tries to take a breath in (when one can, at the moment of being afloat) and then you get even more karma, which does not let you "take that breath in". Like you are getting to the surface, you try to take breath in, but then karma "pushes you with a stick" so you would not be able to take that breath. Or something of the sorts.
Or you finally able able to lift heavy weight and then Judges of Karma be like: "Nah, take this 100 kilos more" and then you are again strugling to lift it.
4. Well this experience was long ago. My consciousness was awake at that moment. It was something like a trial. I was wearing black and white "kimono" (black hakama, white haori). Before me was great table (judge's bench) and I believe three judges (Lords of Karma). They were dressed similary, but all white and also were wearing kimonos (the coat like thing) in addition to hakamas and haoris. I was patiently waiting. Then they said their judgement: "Now we will skin you alive" (or something like that, it is a bit different in my native language, it was more like "We will rip your fur off". Then I felt that pain, like one would feel when someone is tearing your skin from the back, slowly.
I knew with my Being (felt inside my Being) that these were Lords of Karma (Judges of Karma). I don't know why the Asian aesthetic, as I am not Asian. Probably because I was somewhat fascinated by Japanese culture at that time.
I can't remember if it was before first initiation of minor mysteries, or after. But what was after, in my physical life, was a lot of pain, failures, sickness, and overall misery (miserable life).
Or you finally able able to lift heavy weight and then Judges of Karma be like: "Nah, take this 100 kilos more" and then you are again strugling to lift it.
4. Well this experience was long ago. My consciousness was awake at that moment. It was something like a trial. I was wearing black and white "kimono" (black hakama, white haori). Before me was great table (judge's bench) and I believe three judges (Lords of Karma). They were dressed similary, but all white and also were wearing kimonos (the coat like thing) in addition to hakamas and haoris. I was patiently waiting. Then they said their judgement: "Now we will skin you alive" (or something like that, it is a bit different in my native language, it was more like "We will rip your fur off"
. Then I felt that pain, like one would feel when someone is tearing your skin from the back, slowly.I knew with my Being (felt inside my Being) that these were Lords of Karma (Judges of Karma). I don't know why the Asian aesthetic, as I am not Asian. Probably because I was somewhat fascinated by Japanese culture at that time.
I can't remember if it was before first initiation of minor mysteries, or after. But what was after, in my physical life, was a lot of pain, failures, sickness, and overall misery (miserable life).
1) Latent development often reinitiates even in childhood for fallen bodhisattvas, if it is in accordance with the Being's will. This is to warn, inspire, and prepare the human soul to return to the path they once left.
2) When the Father withdraws, the son or daughter falls into disgrace.
Samael Aun Weor had attempted to rise again many times, but without taking into account his karma or the will of his Innermost. He only returned to the path successfully when the Logos Samael had determined his son had suffered enough and in order to accomplish a major mission.
3) What do you mean by the Lords of Karma "not taking a breath in"?
4) Regarding this inner experience, more context and explanation is needed. How does this experience relate to your physical life?
2) When the Father withdraws, the son or daughter falls into disgrace.
Samael Aun Weor had attempted to rise again many times, but without taking into account his karma or the will of his Innermost. He only returned to the path successfully when the Logos Samael had determined his son had suffered enough and in order to accomplish a major mission.
3) What do you mean by the Lords of Karma "not taking a breath in"?
4) Regarding this inner experience, more context and explanation is needed. How does this experience relate to your physical life?
For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami
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