Can I still be gnostic if from time to time i masturbated after struggle ?
A little while before leaving such a meritorious institution, the alluded teacher uttered the following, “Let not one of those who are present here dare to self-qualify himself as a Rosicrucian, because we are nothing but simple aspirants of Rosicrucianism.”
Then he added with great solemnity, “Rosicrucians are Buddha, Jesus, Moria, K.H., etc.” - The Three Mountains
"Only those who have attained absolute chastity will be saved.
If the alchemist loses the water, meaning if the alchemist commits the error of ejaculating the semen, then the crossing of the two currents is impossible.
In the hard battle of brain against sex and sex against brain, the brain loses the battle most of the time.
The intimate battles of the heart usually lead the alchemists towards final failure.
A Greek fable tells us the tale of Sisyphus the Colossus, who by carrying a big boulder on his back intends once again to reach the summit of the mountain. However, his attempts always fail because just when he is about to place the stone at the right point of his desired goal, the stone always falls into the depths of the precipice.
Whosoever spills the cup of Hermes once in a while, whosoever at times does not spill the semen, and then later comes to spill it, violates the law of the Holy Kabirs and converts himself into a Gray Tantric adept.
In this world of Samsara, there exist evasiveness and false justifications for many things. Thus, this is how Gray Tantra also has its followers and its doctrine.
Any esoterist traveller who himself proposes to perform an in depth investigation among the secret schools of the Asian continent will verify for himself the crude and painful reality of Gray Tantra.
Tantra exists in all of Asia and is very abundant in the diverse schools of Theravada (Hinayana), Mahayana, Ch’an, Zen, Tantric Buddhism, etc.
The intellectual animals always find evasiveness and false justification for all of their weaknesses. Therefore, it does not surprise us that even within these self-exalted and dignified schools of Zen, Tantric Buddhism, and others, much ballast of Gray Tantra is found.
It is lamentable that many disoriented instructors (from those oriental schools) offer valuable Sexual Yoga techniques and practices without ever comprehending the fundamental aspect of Tantra, that being the urgent necessity of never committing the crime of spilling the semen during your whole life.