Hello dear instructors,
I am currently feeling intense emotional pain and have found myself facing terrible hopelessness. This pain is incredibly crushing, and I am left weeping and without ambition of any sort, whether it be towards spiritual or material pursuits. I just don't want to do anything anymore, I don't want to eat or do any typical daily activity. I just want to sleep. Everything seems so pointless to me, and despite my knowing better, I really find myself reconsidering pressing on and aspiring towards a higher spiritual being. I don't recall ever feeling such intense pain in my life.
Then there is the fear and unwillingness to face what troubles my heart. I can say with honesty that I don't want to let go of it. I don't want to let go of her. It is odd to see that I desperately cling to my own suffering. I cannot see beyond it, it has such a grip on me. I cannot see myself moving on from it and being rid of it. I just don't know what to now. Mustering the strength to try and meditate on it is proving to be an ordeal in itself.
I am currently feeling intense emotional pain and have found myself facing terrible hopelessness. This pain is incredibly crushing, and I am left weeping and without ambition of any sort, whether it be towards spiritual or material pursuits. I just don't want to do anything anymore, I don't want to eat or do any typical daily activity. I just want to sleep. Everything seems so pointless to me, and despite my knowing better, I really find myself reconsidering pressing on and aspiring towards a higher spiritual being. I don't recall ever feeling such intense pain in my life.
Then there is the fear and unwillingness to face what troubles my heart. I can say with honesty that I don't want to let go of it. I don't want to let go of her. It is odd to see that I desperately cling to my own suffering. I cannot see beyond it, it has such a grip on me. I cannot see myself moving on from it and being rid of it. I just don't know what to now. Mustering the strength to try and meditate on it is proving to be an ordeal in itself.