Dear Gnostic Instructors,
How to meditate in a right and effective manner? Situations that occur in my life are a result of not just one ego. Normally they happen because a few egos get together and create a certain situation. Later, a different combination of egos creates a slightly different (but similar) situation. (This is likely true for many people). It is all a mix, a blended soup, where it is difficult to identify which vice is the leading one. How should I meditate on these situations - focusing on the situation itself or just one of the participating egos at a time?
(For now, my meditation practice has - at most - led me to seeing random scenes from various stages of my life, which are usually irrelevant for the situation. As if my subconscious throws at me various slides from my life, forgotten scenes, very random, one after the other, without logical order, very fast). I mostly have the 'aha' moments during my wakeful hours when I am doing something completely different and not thinking about the problem. I know these types of realizations are not enough.. The problem is when I focus on something painful during the meditation - I get identified with the problem even more, and usually have to discontinue).