Friday, 17 January 2020
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Hello, I would like some advice regarding my understanding of my addiction. I started practicing my focus and mindfulness a few years before a friend showed me this school. After reading as much as I could and listening to the courses here or on youtube on the gnostic students channel, and being satisfied with the concentration aspect of the meditation, I tried to start visualizing my problems and using my imagination to find an explanation or a solution. So my problem is that I've been exposed to pornography at a single digit age, and that eventually evolved into a severe addiction to watching porn and fantasizing about it. After about three years of trial and error, I believe I'm somewhat in control of the addiction, as I've only been conquered by my lust about four times in the last year. Now to truly get rid of it - because even though I know how damaging it is I still fell into the same traps - I think I need to experience and understand it through meditation. The same friend I was talking about above is much more advanced in the practice, and suggested that I try to visualize my addiction. I find it really difficult because when I sit and visualize my problem, I find it's only bringing out lustful images and memories, and my imagination fully succumbs to the ego. How do I approach it? I understand that it's the temptation of the desire body, but how can I use imagination to fix this problem, if I can fix it through imagination. I'm the kind of person who's always using their imagination and I'm visualizing scenarios and events just like kids do so I don't think I can use it here. Also, I truly understand the harmful effects that pornography has on my psyche, but when the ego takes advantage of my diminished willpower, I find it hard to resist. I believe a true understanding can only come through self realization and meditation. Thank you for reading this.
2 years ago
·
#20859
Do practices to improve your concentration so you do not become distracted by tempting images.

"Do not worry; cultivate the habit of being happy." - Samael Aun Weor

2 years ago
·
#20865
Do practices to improve your concentration so you do not become distracted by tempting images.


But what do I concentrate upon? What do I visualize when deconstructing my addiction? My feelings, my thoughts, my habits, the events usually happening before I give into temptation?
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