Monday, 30 December 2019
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Hi,

I have a question from the lecture "Liberation fro suffering"

When cultivating Bodhichitta and working to deny myself I am often left feeling used / hurt / taken advantage of / drained of energy etc in relationships with fellow humans who I know are acting out of their ego.

These are great opportunities to meditate and dissolve the ego but should I still be trying to please and serve my fellow humans when I know they are acting out of their ego and selfishly hurting me or can I defend myself against them? If so how can I do this?

I want to serve people but at times I feel they just take and take and take and its also not helping them to understand that their is also a spark of divinity within me as there is in them.

Thank you =)

Tristan
2 years ago
·
#20701
Accepted Answer
"A lot of our pain is self-chosen," says Kahlil Gibran.

However, we do not need to persist in toxic relationships. If there is mental, verbal, physical abuse, we can close our doors and choose to associate with more positive and spiritually like-minded people.

We must learn to express our view without anger, frustration, self-defensiveness, violence.

We must always respect others' point of view, providing our own, but not forcing it on others.

If people do not accept our perspectives, we do not need to fight with them constantly or need to prove to them what we think. One time is enough.

It may be our karma to have family members or people close to us who are toxic. If we cannot shut our doors to them, at least we should learn to create healthy boundaries through constructive dialogue and clear communication.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

2 years ago
·
#21559
"A lot of our pain is self-chosen," says Kahlil Gibran.

However, we do not need to persist in toxic relationships. If there is mental, verbal, physical abuse, we can close our doors and choose to associate with more positive and spiritually like-minded people.

We must learn to express our view without anger, frustration, self-defensiveness, violence.

We must always respect others' point of view, providing our own, but not forcing it on others.

If people do not accept our perspectives, we do not need to fight with them constantly or need to prove to them what we think. One time is enough.

It may be our karma to have family members or people close to us who are toxic. If we cannot shut our doors to them, at least we should learn to create healthy boundaries through constructive dialogue and clear communication.


Is disrespect, insulting, and poor attitude usually a result of accumulated pride and narcissism? I'm still in the process of discovering the cause of verbal abuse.
2 years ago
·
#20715
Hi Almustafa,

Thank you very much for taking the time to respond I appreciate that a lot.

I will work on having healthy boundaries and clear communication.

All the best =)

Tristan
2 years ago
·
#20701
Accepted Answer
"A lot of our pain is self-chosen," says Kahlil Gibran.

However, we do not need to persist in toxic relationships. If there is mental, verbal, physical abuse, we can close our doors and choose to associate with more positive and spiritually like-minded people.

We must learn to express our view without anger, frustration, self-defensiveness, violence.

We must always respect others' point of view, providing our own, but not forcing it on others.

If people do not accept our perspectives, we do not need to fight with them constantly or need to prove to them what we think. One time is enough.

It may be our karma to have family members or people close to us who are toxic. If we cannot shut our doors to them, at least we should learn to create healthy boundaries through constructive dialogue and clear communication.

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

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