Friday, 19 July 2019
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I would like some insight on the current situation I'm in.

I'm currently single but in the process of courting my potential husband. I had an intuitive feeling in my heart that my 10 year old daughter's father (we had parted ways and lost touch for a long time) was to be my husband to practice alchemy with. I followed that intuition and told him about the teachings. I tried to explain as much as possible and have given him one of Samael Aun Weor's books to read. He still doesn't quite understand the teachings exactly but overall he accepts them especially that the orgasm is fornication.

He is a truck driver and is out of town for sometimes 1-2 months at a time usually. I told him to start practicing pranayama and tried my best to explain it to him. I gave him a picture of the 2 pages from The Major Mysteries so he could understand how to do it exactly. He is not putting forth the effort yet to practice and is often swept away by his crazy long days driving. We are not able to court in the appropriate way because we can't spend much time together since he's gone for so long. Sometimes we do talk on the phone though.

I think the situation we are in is a karmic situation (mine and his). Often things go wrong while he's driving and things get off track as if he's stuck, for example, like when he drops off a load the place isn't where it said it was or the place is not ready to receive his load or sometimes even the people aren't there. And for me it's my current living situation with my brother that seems to be karmic. It's a tough situation but I try to be helpful as possible. Often there's much chaos here that it seems like a hell.

I don't yet quite feel love for him I've noticed. In a meditation I did receive some insight on that love must have time to grow to a full blossom so to speak with plenty of sunlight and water. I'm wondering how can we ever allow the love to grow if we can't spend much time together. I've felt that he's not ready to yet get married and I guess that means that I'm not ready either. How can we navigate the karmic situations we are in? Does sacrificing help pay the karma so that we can move forward? Am I even making the right decision? I would like to spend more time with him so I can be sure this is the right decision but that seems impossible right now with our situations.
4 years ago
·
#19363
Accepted Answer
Many Gnostic students feel urgency to find the right spouse for alchemy, believing they cannot progress without him or her. However, we should be less worried about trying to control external situations or people and more concerned with understanding our own mind. It is only by changing within that we truly achieve a lasting external change.

Try to relax and to develop patience with your situation. The love of the soul is not dependent on physical proximity. If God wills you to be with this man, it will happen naturally, like a flower blossoming. If we try to squeeze the flower to make it bloom more quickly, we risk killing it. Love does not happen according to our schedule and wishes; when we are internally prepared, God will bring our spouse to us, most likely through a relationship that develops gradually.

Study your mind. The mind projects fantasies that hypnotize us. We imagine a certain person as our spouse, what that would be like, and how we need to orchestrate the progression of events to make this occur—all of that is an illusion. Accept your present reality with faith in the will of your inner divinity, with patience and prayer for insight. It may be that while you invest your energy in trying to force a relationship with one person, another potential partner goes unnoticed. Have peace with reality, and be aware of each moment. Then you can listen to the silent voice in your heart, rather than being tormented by the desires and anxieties of the ego. Comprehend what the ego wants from this situation, and let that desire die. Learn to be happy with what your inner God has given you, and you will have the guidance you need.

"If thou canst not make thine own self what thou desireth, how shalt thou be able to fashion another to thine own liking. We are ready to see others made perfect, and yet we do not amend our own shortcomings."
—Thomas à Kempis

4 years ago
·
#19363
Accepted Answer
Many Gnostic students feel urgency to find the right spouse for alchemy, believing they cannot progress without him or her. However, we should be less worried about trying to control external situations or people and more concerned with understanding our own mind. It is only by changing within that we truly achieve a lasting external change.

Try to relax and to develop patience with your situation. The love of the soul is not dependent on physical proximity. If God wills you to be with this man, it will happen naturally, like a flower blossoming. If we try to squeeze the flower to make it bloom more quickly, we risk killing it. Love does not happen according to our schedule and wishes; when we are internally prepared, God will bring our spouse to us, most likely through a relationship that develops gradually.

Study your mind. The mind projects fantasies that hypnotize us. We imagine a certain person as our spouse, what that would be like, and how we need to orchestrate the progression of events to make this occur—all of that is an illusion. Accept your present reality with faith in the will of your inner divinity, with patience and prayer for insight. It may be that while you invest your energy in trying to force a relationship with one person, another potential partner goes unnoticed. Have peace with reality, and be aware of each moment. Then you can listen to the silent voice in your heart, rather than being tormented by the desires and anxieties of the ego. Comprehend what the ego wants from this situation, and let that desire die. Learn to be happy with what your inner God has given you, and you will have the guidance you need.

"If thou canst not make thine own self what thou desireth, how shalt thou be able to fashion another to thine own liking. We are ready to see others made perfect, and yet we do not amend our own shortcomings."
—Thomas à Kempis

4 years ago
·
#19369
I meditated on this and have realized I haven't felt at peace with where I'm at currently. My divine mother helped me have more comprehension of the desire of the egos involved. Once I stepped out of it and observed it, I felt a deep inner peace and serenity with where I'm at. I could instantly hear the voice of silence in my heart telling me what I need to do. This helped very much. Thank you!
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