In my life, I am free to practice semen retention and act upon Gnostic teachings. But that's only if I do it in secret... I sometimes feel as though the reason why I relapse into masturbation is because I've reached the limit of how 'apart' I can be from my friends, family and society. I know what I need to do, however I will never stop being influenced by my friends. When they take masturbation as a joke and something cool, when the girls take dressing provocatively as normal. I'm just confused at this point.

My question is, is there a way where I can find peace within regardless of how society wants to behave? Am I able to act as I will without feeling alone? I just want some insight into this.