How to tell if something is the desire of my innermost or is it my weakness? Sorry for a little personal nature of my question. But, since I have few spiritual friends, I believe this is the only place where I can get a truthful reply. So I would appreciate if you could answer me. Today success is measured by the money you make. Whenever I tried to get a job either I don't really like it or for some reason it never happens. I can't bring myself to do a job or don't get the opportunity and it feels like I can't bring myself to do it from within. Although luckily I have more than enough money to get by as of now, I am always told that I lack practicality by others. At the same time I love studying spiritual books even to the point of five hours a day, write, meditate a lot. I love nature. I want to do a job of a spiritual nature and serve humanity in future but I believe my mind needs to be free from all fetters before that. I believe my mind needs more training. So, how do I know if it's my spiritual innermost inspiring me to take up a completely spiritual life or am I lacking practicality and fear doing a job?