Yes, that should it be, thank you very much Benedictus, until the annihilation of lust I will not get any peace. The problem is, that when I decided one day to annihilate my lust at any cost, I achieved only to start masturbating. Now I have the same goal, of course now I will never masturbate again(if I am careful), maybe I just did not know how to do the work and repressed the lust, without comprehending it. Yes, if I start seriously to meditate, and not once in a week, I should succeed. I am frustrated, because I had predicted my downfall, but did nothing to prevent it. Now the ability this ability is lost, probably because of masturbation. But now I know something more, that I need love, not lust. I just wish I had done better choices, hopefully I will do them now.