Inverential Peace!
Brethren, how does one ask to be tested to confront the Guardian of the Threshold?
Can we petition our Father to put us in this test? Do we ask our Mother to make arrangements with the Law?
I feel like I don't have enough remorse or a big enough driver to do the work, and I feel it's because of lack of comprehension of my real state of unconsciousness and suffering.
I feel like if I could see who or what I really am, as legion, I would feel the need to die within myself.
Moreover, how does one fortify or bring about the longing to die?
I comprehend that my life is favorable for the work and I have everything that I need, but THAT. Meanwhile, I know people who have a hard life and unfavorable circumstances for the work, yet they have the longing to die and be serious in the work. I feel like if I just had that longing, I would take off like a rocket.