Tuesday, 11 October 2016
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When I am trying to do my Innermost's will, I find that my limited understanding of Innermost's will is something that my ego uses to foster itself. I have struggled with this a lot over the years.

For example, I love to draw. And sometimes, when I do it, it feels wonderful, like I'm a conduit for something greater than myself. But, at other times, I can feel aggregates that relish praise for my work, images of fame, others being envious of my skill, etc. Then I find myself wondering: am I drawing and sharing my work because my Innermost wants me to, or because of selfishness? Anxiety appears. So, I stop drawing. But then, I see how that's also laziness taking over, as I dive into other things and excuses for not drawing. So this mess of egos bolster themselves, meanwhile, I lose the inkling that art is bigger than my egos.

It's the same with acts of kindness for me. I'll find myself doing something good, like listening to others, and moments later, feel the pull of an ego that enjoys appearing good. It makes me feel like hiding away, like I'll only do damage, but that is itself ego, too.

Is this part of the path? Trying to do God's will, seeing how we warp it into our own, and trying to do God's will, anyway? Or is evidence of getting trapped in the mind -- God's will versus ego will, dualism?

Any guidance appreciated. Thanks for reading. :)
5 years ago
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#12769
Accepted Answer
Greetings. It's good to always keep in mind that the nature of the intellect is dualism. "If I am not God I must be the Devil." If you consider what the alternative is to navigating the thought circuit concering drawing, being kind, etc. it is obviously going to have to be another, similar conundrum. If we want to know the Will of our Being, it is to be found in what is in front of us on a day to day basis. In Zen Buddhism there is a saying, "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." By no means should we become attached to our circumstances as inherently meaningful.

"...for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so...since nothing is really good or bad in itself—it's all what a person thinks about it." -Shakespeare, Hamlet Act 2, Scene 2

By observing ourselves concerning what is front of us we are doing the Will of our Being and will hopefully become enlightened!
5 years ago
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#12777
Certainly. The need for ethics is implied. Without gnosis it is still always possible to do "the right thing". But only with gnosis is it possible to comprehend why it is the right thing. Or, why "the right thing" may not even be the right thing in some situations. "Do gooders" are not serving God, they are serving an image of "self". "Chop wood, carry water," may be all the ethics we need from the standpoint that "self image" is the root of all evil.
5 years ago
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#12776
Thank you for your reply, Aesclepius. I think I understand. I struggle with how ethics fits into this approach, however, but maybe I'm misunderstanding what ethics is.

By focusing on observation of my day-to-day life instead of judging or justifying, my consciousness will learn how cause and effect works, and then "what to do" will simply become clearer as I go?
5 years ago
·
#12769
Accepted Answer
Greetings. It's good to always keep in mind that the nature of the intellect is dualism. "If I am not God I must be the Devil." If you consider what the alternative is to navigating the thought circuit concering drawing, being kind, etc. it is obviously going to have to be another, similar conundrum. If we want to know the Will of our Being, it is to be found in what is in front of us on a day to day basis. In Zen Buddhism there is a saying, "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." By no means should we become attached to our circumstances as inherently meaningful.

"...for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so...since nothing is really good or bad in itself—it's all what a person thinks about it." -Shakespeare, Hamlet Act 2, Scene 2

By observing ourselves concerning what is front of us we are doing the Will of our Being and will hopefully become enlightened!
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