Before all, thank you for the tremendously life changing knowledge which you have graciously endowed me with. Recently i have been working on my ego as well as trying to make consistent sacrifice for others. My problem is that even if i comprehend this or that defect ( which in all reality i really do not know if i have ), i cannot seem to provoke my divine mother to the point of having enough power to eliminate a defect. I have been working on gluttony and have limited my meals to 3 a day, because really seeking pleasure is the equivalent to seeking pain, they might as well be the same thing. Regardless, even if i comprehend this, i still cannot tell if this defect has been eliminated, in fact i know it has not. Currently i am beginning to work with the Viparita Karani Mudra while utilizing prana, so my question is how will i know when a defect is eliminated? I feel that i will not make it to the great exodus, to my very own and complete utter shame, although i do not know a single gnostic student/instructor so im not sure if i really could anyway, but i am trying to work intensely regardless of that. So anyway i will simplify my questions
1. What is a good sign a defect has been totally eliminated, and if it has only shrunk, does that constitute even 1% of elimination?
2. Can fasting help not only the elimination of gluttony but as well as other defects?
3. Let us say i have sparked my divine mother to the greatest potential, how do i then aim that power at such a defect, and then know it has considerably shrunken?
4. I will not ask for times, dates, or locations of the exodus, but if i were to be accepted, how would i know? Having little to no astral travel experience, i feel my karma has rendered me generally hopeless. Would i have to know an instructor personally?
Sorry for the barrage of questions, i feel that to some extent that i know these the answers to them as well, but the instructors always seem to shine some light and that truly helps. Thank you for you time, it is very much appreciated.