Friday, 05 February 2016
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Just heard about cleansing and I'm wondering, if it is necessary to do it when I use to imagine a sphere around me, when I am out and a sphere around my apartment?
I also fill it with white light, from the center of the universe and with a golden light, which comes from the earth below me and have a string that binds me to the crystal in this center. Both golden crystals, the one I wear in my imagination and the one from the center look identical, just that mine has a white lotus in the middle. Every now and than, this light I draw in, increases tremendously and sometimes it just feels like I am burning and other times it just covers the whole earth plus the moon. So it shines out of my sphere. Once it even covered the whole solar system we are in. I am not really sure, what that is. Is it also a way of personal cleansing or cleaning the world, or why the heck am I sending so much energy out? I am doing it since November, but I've stopped for a while. I've stopped to send out light. Only the core of the planet earth and the plants and animals receive light, no one else. Recently even no sending out light to animals any more.
I also use to bound things in the "real" world to things in the "other" world, like I sweep every morning my apartment and think; while I do this, I also clean my soul. And sometimes I imagine a golden rain raining down on things that feel dirty or falling down on the food I buy and on me. Is it good to clean people and animals around me with that golden rain? Are there any lectures just about cleansing? In my opinion, helping is nothing more but taking away the possibility of learning. Should I help? Though I do all this, this month I was so much like all other humans. I don't know, as if I've lost it. So I needed to transmute again. No big deal, because I feel it's like a funny game doing it and I know, go with the flow and Tao and such :) but could it be, that that's not enough cleansing anymore? Because darkness has increased on earth very much in the last few months?
And I just have a personal conflict. I use to withdraw my sphere, when I come near humans, so that it represents only something like a suit, that covers only me and my light don't shines out. I don't know, is it my ego, that doesn't want to share the light? Avarice?
Ah to less questions yet, a few more :D I have a dog and I do all things that I mentioned to my dog in my imagination. She also is bound to the crystal I talked before and to mine. Is it wasting my astral energy (not sure if it is called like that, but one could say, I haven't traveled astral for almost decates ^^ but I do dream a lot. Well not this month, when I got caught up in nonsense. But then again sometimes I feel like I've been sealed, so I can't do any harm, because I totally despise the behavior of humans. What is it that makes me despise that race so much? It is not hate, also not envy that they can live a normal life, but I can't. Once it was, but I threw it into the oven. I also don't despise the parts of me that are still human, I'm just fine with them. What else could it be?) when I include her in my practice? What is this string about? I have a lot of them.

Thank you for reading and your answer!
6 years ago
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#11235

For thirty years I sought God. But when I looked carefully I found that in reality God was the seeker and I the sought. -Bayazid al-Bastami

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