While measuring my current perspective against the chaotic experience of my life - I am arriving upon realizations of powers and understanding of my greater purpose in this material existence; though similarly connecting to what is my own Karmic Baggage
Such chaos was torment against my true self; though in hindsight drew me back to this path. Similar to those negative externalities experienced by many of those who find themselves on the razor thin path, I find myself over exerting rationality to "fit in" to this existence.
My intuition has always led me to act upon what I believe is the only true cause and purpose; to enlighten brothers and sisters in darkness, and to fight against the manifestation of egos (my own, and otherwise).. Certainly, this intuition was exercised without any intervention of the rational mind in younger days; however now it is my rational mind taking over my ability to exercise my intuitive nature. I seek the knowledge for my rational mind, to make of sense of this existence, these great teachings. When studying lectures, everything makes perfect sense, and strikes a chord which I truely feel is already tuned, though rusty in me.
As I truely feel to have fallen; how do I approach the Great Work with my intuitive mind again? How do I silence the intellect's desire to understand facets of the teachings, which wants to believe are necessary in this life's journey? Is my intellect merely bringing forth the cause of my fall, while tethering my intuitive nature until a time whence earned to again exercise?