Dear instructors,
Yet another stupid question, and I probably know the answer. But, speaking to you is highly pleasant. More importantly these conversations reinforce the seeds of understanding in me and help them grow.
In my work life I am just one of those who work for the "big system". I am not labelling it good or bad. It's just a job where I happened to land because of my earlier actions. Cause and effect.
I try to work towards reducing my bad habits, being aware where my energy is spent, transmuting unconscious patterns by self observation, etc. However, sometimes, I feel less energy, or not so much energy to work with. The "system" often drains it and I have not much time left to replenish myself fully. I still want to stay in the system while I am gradually transiting to a more responsible role in my life. Yet, to stay in the system means to continue to behave in a certain accepted way, to speak in a certain way, to dress in a certain way, etc., which involves a lot of acting. And here comes coffee. Life in this 'matrix' world without coffee feels very difficult. I have tried to give up for months, but I come back to this habit over and over. What does coffee do? Does it block me, and make me just another happy stupid player in the matrix? With coffee I suddenly transform into a highly effective and charismatic 'raising star' while I know deep down that I am just acting. But in fact it's not just acting. Coffee makes me relate to others, stop the negative internal talk while I am at work, become more alert (but is it really? Or is is an ego boost?)
So the question is - does coffee really block people, so it is simply an addiction that most people cannot give up, or am I exaggerating its negative effects? Shall I just simply drink my morning coffee without guilt and don't make a big deal out of it! Deep down however I feel, coffee is a strong stimulant(at least for me) that helps people become/stay suitable for the 'matrix'. By coffee I mean what is commercially available in most chains and stores.