Do the dark forces have Bodhisattvas, too, who fulfill their interests here on earth?
How can we know whether our guiding star is a heavenly one or a fallen one of dark light?
If we follow our Innermost faithfully, how can we be sure that he is white-minded, not blackened?
Shall we follow him even if his will contradicts the actual law established by society?
… Or could this as well be a temptation in disguise?
I remember having read the advice that we should never expect our Innermost to answer in a specific way, but instead be open and receive his messages in any form they might appear.
Also I have read here many times that sensations are nothing (not reliable), because of their illusory nature.
What if an Innermost prefers to answer our call by means of higher emotions that go along with sensations? If maybe he finds this way he is understood best by his child?
These days I have to take a difficult decision, so I have taken refuge to my Innermost, and this is how he answers …
When I pray to him I become filled with love and observe a vibrant blue (combined with greenish yellow) light circle that constantly changes form. Then I ask: My Innermost, shall I do this, is it your will for me to do this? As an answer, love fills me even more, it feels uplifting, breath is pressed into the lungs with high pressure and it may even happen that my head starts nodding – would this be a trustworthy answer?
It feels like an answer. It feels like “yes”. Likewise, there are other sensations that do feel like “no”.
He does not show up in a visible (picture) or audible (word) way – similar to what many instructors and some students in this forum seem to have experienced as His presence. I follow a daily spiritual practice for some years now, but never have seen Him in an anthropomorphic form. We shall not make any image of God, right? Nevertheless people all the time mention to have seen their Inner Being as a warrior, an impressive figure, a beautiful angel, a great master … whatever.
This irritates me. I wonder if my experience is trustworthy. At least, it is constant. I am always answered in this manner: high emotion = yes, low emotion = no. Be it by the Innermost or Divine Mother, the answer comes as feelings and higher sensations of a kind that otherwise in daily life are unknown. Their presence enter through the heart and then they are felt in the body, mind and soul at once, and sometimes even cause a slight movement. When I call either one aspect of Divinity, they flourish like this from the heart and quite often bring love emissions and joy to the point of ecstasy. In the body, this causes sensations that are difficult to describe, like air filled with Prana pumped into lungs as into a gas balloon, etheric flavoured breath (like vapor), inner organs being energetically massaged, eyeballs turning upwards behind closed eyelids, colored light, head turning right of left … and so on. From time to time I fear they’re going to blow me up by the power of love.
Is this a reliable way of receiving the unseen Divinity and their answers?
Are these emotional sensations just flowers that I have grown in my heart through constant prayer? Or is this really the presence of God?
Or is it Satan who speaks like this? Can we ever be sure who really is the One guiding us? Who are those invisible forces who answer our prayers with Love? There comes into my mind the Gospel of Judas whom Jesus has warned: “Oh Judas, your star has led you astray!”
I have to take a difficult decision. I wonder if I can trust and follow the answers thus received, especially when they contradict the current man-made law of society in which I live. One needs courage to follow faithfully. I would you could lend me some of yours …